*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*

(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON THREE)

EPISODE 28: RANMA ½ CAST DOES CCS

(A Ranma 1/2/CardCaptor Sakura MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.

Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment

purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or

trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

“Card Captor Sakura” is a trademark of CLAMP and those who distribute it.

“Ranma ½” is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and the distributors of her work.

“The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS” is the property of Matthew Cline and he’s welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him by making fun of his work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)

 
(Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....)
 
It's the not-too-distant future,
Last Sunday BC
There was this girl named Sakura
Quite different from you or me
She captured Clow Cards with her friends
All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens
They tried to save the human race,
But Eriol lost his patience
So he shot them into space!!!!
  
Sakura: (Hoeeee……)
 
Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?)
 
We'll send them crappy fanfics
The worst we can find (lalala)
They'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor their minds (lalala)
 
Now keep in mind they can't control
When the fanfics begin or end (lalala)
Because, let’s face it, after all
Eriol’s not really their friend;
 
CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL:
 
Meiling:
'I’m baaaaaack!’
 
Tomoyo:
'Say “Cheese”!'
 
Syaoran:
'Raitei Shourai!!'
 
KEROOOOOOO!!!
'That’s Cerberus to you.'
 
If you're wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts (lalala)
Then repeat to yourself
*It's just a MiST*
You should really just relax
For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!!

**

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

15:45 Hours

“Ohhohohohoho!” Sixteen year old Tomoyo Daidouji giggled as she ran about madly surrounded by stacks of fabric and other designer materials. “Hmmm…I’ll need more red silk to finish this shirt.”

Three of her fellow satellite-bound captives, Sakura Kinomoto, Syaoran Li and Meiling Li, stared blankly and sweatdropped.

“I told you it was a mistake to let her get bored,” Meiling muttered under her breath. “Every time Daidouji gets bored, she either breaks out the cameras or the sewing machine.”

“Li-kun! Could you come over here?” Tomoyo called. “I need to take your measurements!”

Syaoran let out a hollow sigh. He should have seen this coming. He had been touched when Tomoyo made him an outfit for his and Sakura’s battle with ‘The Void’. He hadn’t even thought for a second that it was a sign that Tomoyo was getting a tad bored with having just one magic-wielding living doll to play with. “Well, at least she’s not as bad as my sisters,” he muttered as Tomoyo whipped out her measuring tape.

Kero, meanwhile, was keeping himself busy with a stack of comic books.

“Kero, what’s with all the comics?” Sakura asked, trying to divert her attention from Tomoyo’s latest bout of fashion design fever.

Meiling glanced at the pile. “These are all Marvel comics. What’s up, plushie?”

Kero glanced up from a slightly battered issue of ‘X-Men’. “Well, if you must know I’m preparing myself.”

“For what?” Sakura asked.

“Well, at the rate Marvel is releasing movies based on its comics, I want to be well prepared for the ones to come,” Kero replied.

“Hey! Hey!” Syaoran called. “Watch those hands, Daidouji!”

“Oh, quit complaining.” Tomoyo replied. “Would you rather Sakura took this measurement?”

“Oh, knock it off!” Syaoran snapped.

Just then a red light on the console began to flash. “Uh-oh…” began Meiling. “Snap to it, guys. Chief Mihara is calling!” She reached over and gave the button a smack.

**

DEEP 13

The evil Dr. Eriol Hiiragazawa scowled slightly, one eyebrow raised. “Mihara?” he said. “You mean that goofball from ‘Angelic Layer’? You must be kidding.”

His assistant, TV’s Ruby Moon eyed him carefully. “I don’t know. I think it sounds about right for you.”

“Oh, shut up,” Eriol growled. “The man doesn’t even really have a nose, for crying out loud.”

Eriol’s other assistant, TV’s Spinel Sun, hopped up onto the control console. “Eriol, there was a call from downstairs. Your new chair has just been delivered.”

“Ahh! Wonderful!” Eriol exclaimed. “I never should have left my old one in Tomoeda. I loved that chair.”

“Why don’t you get that one?” Sakura asked.

“Uhhh… The house had to be sealed… for security measures,” Ruby Moon offered.

“It was Ciircee and Chelle-sama’s idea!” Spinel added.

Kero looked up from his comic book. “I thought that house was knocked down to make way for a theme park.”

Everyone stared blankly with dotted eyes for several moments.

“That… Ummmm….” Eriol began. “It was all just a massive illusion. The house was there the whole time. Now stop messing with the plot, Cerberus!”

“Just asking,” said Kero.

“Well, just for that, I think you should go first on the Clow card exchange,” Eriol growled.

**

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“Well,” Syaoran began. “Our Clow card this week is based on a very old plot device from Ranma ½ fics. You, of course, remember all about Cologne’s instant Jusenkyo plot. It seems that every author on Earth has used this at least once in a story, if not the REAL Jusenkyo.”

“Hold still!” Tomoyo snapped, yanking Syaoran’s arm to finish taking measurements.

Meiling sweatdropped. “Anyway, our Clow card will allow you to create your own Jusenkyo water. You can set the curse, the effects and even how long it will last.”

“And you can be as specific as you want, no matter how implausible it seems,” Sakura added. “Like Spring of Drowned Goddess,”

“Or even specific characters, like Spring of Drowned Rune Venus,” Meiling added.

“Goddess and Rune Venus are more or less the same thing, baby. Mmmm…” said Kero.

“We call it ‘The Jusenkyo’,” said Sakura. “What do you think, sirs?”

“Does Jubilee have her own comic yet?” Kero asked. “That wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

**

DEEP 13

Eriol gave another of his trademark smirks. “Very cute. Well, I have once again deemed to throw a bone to my puny assistants. It better be good this time, Ruby Moon.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re scaring me.” Ruby Moon replied sarcastically. “Anyway, my Clow card this week also deals with an old fanfic cliché, the love-inducing drug/spell/etc, etc. Well, no more! No more shall poor saps be at the victim of the lame lemon plot device! With ‘The Antidote’ card! Guaranteed to thump and mind altering effects.”

“You do realize Touya’s not under a spell, right?” Spinel Sun inquired.

“We’ll see about that,” Ruby Moon replied with a scowl.

Eriol let out a sigh. “Well, my little buddies. It’s time for this week’s experiment and, boy, is it a doozy. It’s a goofy little cast replacement cross-over featuring Akane, Ranma, Ryoga and a few other Ranma charatacters hoping to pass themselves off as the lot of you. I bid you pain and suffering with Matthew Cline’s ‘The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS’. Put the hurt on them, Ruby Moon.”

“Make Suppi do it for a change,” Ruby Moon snapped.

“Bite me, Pinky.” Spinel replied.

**

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“Another cast replacement crossover?” Sakura muttered. “This is ridiculous.”

“Beats reading Syaoran’s Lovertoy,” said Kero.

“Or Golden Eyed Dragon,” Tomoyo added.

Suddenly, alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It shatters like glass.)

(Door 5: It’s made of ofudas. Syaoran recites an incantation and they burn away.)

(Door 4: It’s made of bars. They rise into the ceiling.)

(Door 3: It’s made of sleeping plushies. They suddenly wake up and scamper away.)

(Door 2: It’s a set of elevator doors. They open with a ‘ping’ sound.)

(Door 1: It’s a trap door. You fall through it.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a giant vault door starts to open. A sudden rush of air sucks you through.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero-Chan fall through the vault door and land in their seats while Kero-Chan floats overhead.

>From: Matthew Cline 
 
Kero: Second Cousin of Patsy Cline, will now sing his No. 1 hit, “Coal Miner’s Nephew”.
 
>DISCLAIMER: I stole the concepts in this story from some Ranma
>fanfics, the titles/authors of which I can't remember. 
 
Syaoran:<Matthew> Basically, it’s a total rip-off.
 
Kero:<cop> You’re under arrest for Grand Theft Character. You have the right to remain silent…
 
>As for CCS and Ranma 1/2 themselves, I think you know the drill.
 
Kero:<Matthew> Vernon Dursley sold it to me!
 
Tomoyo: Think he’ll let us drill into his head with it?
 
>NOTE 1: Takahashi is the name of the woman who created Ranma 1/2.
 
Sakura: …and Inu-Yasha and Urusei Yatsura and…
 
>NOTE 2: While this story includes Meilin, who only appears in the
>anime, this fic is based off of the first issue of the manga; it
>starts off at the point where Sakura wakes up in bed. 
 
Kero: Then what’s the point in including Meiling? She won’t be showing up for awhile.
 
>For those of you who've never seen the manga, 
 
Tomoyo:<author> Consider yourself lucky, that Mixx translation sucks.
 
Sakura: But the Kodansha bilingual editions aren’t bad.
 
>it starts with Sakura chasing and capturing the JUMP card, at which point Sakura wakes 
>up in her bed,
 
Syaoran: And here I thought she’d wake up on the kitchen table.
 
Sakura: Why is he giving away the plot?
 
Kero: Cause that’s the only way he’ll get rid of this one.
 
Tomoyo: Ba-dump CHING!
 
>and we see Kero watching a video of the capture on her TV; Sakura then
>begins a "voice over", introducing the characters and explaining
>stuff.
 
Syaoran: No amount of explanation will help this fic.
 
Sakura: Come on, Syaoran-kun, give it a chance.
 
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Tomoyo:<singing> Dashing through the fic…
 
>*RIIIINNNGGGG*
 
Kero: Hey! We’re in “The Next Generation” again.
 
Sakura:<May Showron> Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.
 
>Akane woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, yawning.
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> Well, time to go for my jog and smash some cinderblocks.
 
>"*Sigh*. That sound."
 
Sakura:<Akane> It… reminds me of an alarm clock for some reason…
 
> I'm Sakura Kinomoto. I'm in fourth grade at Tomoeda
> Elementary school.
 
All: Hi, Sakura!!
 
Syaoran: Akane’s experiencing an identity crisis.
 
>Someone from offstage snickers at this; Akane glares at him and leaps
>off the stage, grabbing the man by his shirt.
 
Kero: Well, there’s our first outtake.
 
Tomoyo: Gotta love this casting, huh?
 
Syaoran: Even the author can’t keep a straight face through this junk.
 
>"I *am* in fourth grade," she growls at him. "I just...." She looks
>down at ground, shuffling her feet. She continues, mumbling, "I just
>had a big growth spurt, or something."
 
Kero: More like she got held back in fourth grade for about a decade.
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> KERO NO BAKA!!
 
>Getting back onto the stage, we notice a bandana-clad black piglet,
>tiny white wings glued to it's back, looking at a TV screen displaying
>Akane, his gaze rapt with adoration.
 
<Sakura, Syaoran and Tomoyo fall over laughing>
 
Kero: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
 
Tomoyo: It’s Kero-P!
 
Kero: I am not amused.
 
>"Kweee!" P-chan went. "Kwee kwee bu-kwee!"
 
Tomoyo: Translation: Which way to the Tendo Dojo?
 
>Akane put on her school uniform, which was *much* to tight and *much*
>too short.
 
Kero: Hey! There might be something redeeming about this fic after all.
 
Sakura: Kero…
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> Funny, I don’t remember signing up at Real Bout High School.
 
>"Argh!  Who does the costumes for this show! It's like they were
>designed for a little girl!"
 
Kero: Yeah. Imagine that.
 
Sakura: Sound like you’ve got a complaint on your hands, Tomoyo-chan.
 
Tomoyo: Like I care what Akane thinks. She dresses like a blind hobo.
 
Syaoran: Ouch!
 
>She glared at the offstage area, daring anyone to say something.
 
Sakura:<Akane> I learned that from that General in “Neon Ranma Evangelion”!
 
> I like music and P.E. I hate math.
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> 5+6 is… Aw, crap…
 
Sakura:<Akane> New math my butt… Give me back my calculator.
 
> I'm just an ordinary, bubbly girl. [more snickers] I *AM* a
> bubbly girl!
 
Sakura: Oh, just get her an “Aero” bar already.
 
Syaoran: Yeah. She’s a regular bubble-head.
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> Like, as if! I am just so totally bubbly here!
 
Kero:<Director> Akane, dear. We’re going for CardCaptor Sakura, not Totally Spies here.
 
> Hmmm? Wha'd you ask about that video?
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> ‘Scuse me, I still appear to be a bit smashed from last night.
 
> That, uhhh....
 
Kero:<Akane> Oops… I hope Nabiki doesn’t find out I borrowed her copy of F3 again.
 
Sakura: Kero!
 
>She leaned over to get the tape from the VCR.
 
Kero: I can see her panties!
 
Sakura: Kero!!
 
Kero: Sweet-o!
 
> My 'best friend' recorded this, 'Tomoyo'.
 
Tomoyo: I’m not really a best friend but I play one on TV.
 
> Hmmm? A movie? No, it's the real thing.
 
Syaoran: No names were changed because no one was innocent.
 
Sakura:<singing> Ain’t nothin’ like the real thing, baby.
 
>P-chan looked up at Akane and bu-kwees.
 
Kero: Translation: Boy, I’m a real loser.
 
Syaoran: Bitter much, plushie?
 
> What is this hyper stuffed animal, you ask? (C'mon, P-chan!
> Act hyper!)
 
Syaoran:<P-Chan> Hey! Do I look like Jim Carrey to you?
 
>"This is Kero, though I call him K-chan."
 
Tomoyo: Gee. How imaginative. No. Really.
 
Sakura:<Akane> Maybe I should have named him B-ko?
 
Syaoran: Uh… No.
 
>Akane scooped up 'K-chan' and gooshed him into her bosom.
 
Kero: Ah, P-Chan gets all the luck.
 
Sakura: Kero…
 
>"Have you been a good widdle, uh, flying piggie, K-chan?"
 
Syaoran:<P-Chan> Uh… I can’t talk, remember?
 
>P-chan bu-kweed and fell to the ground as a spout of blood gushed from
>his nose. 
 
Kero:<Announcer> K.O.! Akane Wins!
 
>Akane picked up P-chan and rattled him anxiously, but the
>piglet remained unconscious.
 
Tomoyo: P-Chan has died. Quit or Retry?
 
>"*Sigh*. This always seems to happen; maybe I should take him to the
>vet. I still haven't gotten him fixed yet."
 
Kero: Lorena Bobbitt?!
 
>At this P-chan woke up and frantically scrambled out of the room.
 
Kero: He was determined to keep little Ryoga intact.
 
Sakura: Kero…
 
>"Ummmm...."
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> Line?
 
> Ah.... Heh. Yup. This little guy is not stuffed, it's alive.
 
Sakura: ALIVE!! ALIVE, I TELL YOU!!!
 
> But it's not a cat or dog, either. So... what is he? (Well,
> he's obviously a pig, but....)
 
Syaoran: Hoo boy…
 
> That's a long story.
 
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 
Tomoyo:<Fushigi Yuugi narrator> The story itself is an incantation… Whoever finishes reading it will gain that power…
 
Syaoran: There isn’t enough power on Earth to compel me to read this fic willingly.
 
>"Ahhhh!!!" she shouted as she looked at her clock. "I'm late!"
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> For a very important date!
 
Kero:<Akane> I am SO totally late! Like, I need to get to the mall to meet Alex and Sam!
 
Sakura: Hoo boy…
 
> Oh yeah, I didn't tell you about my family yet.
 
Sakura:<singing> Here’s the story, of a man named Tendo, who sobbed like he was a total wuss.
 
Tomoyo:<singing> He had three girls, who ignored him, the middle one liked cons.
 
Kero:<singing> Here’s the story, of a man named Genma, who was a total coward on his own.
 
Syaoran:<singing> He sold off his son, to many vendors, because he was so lame.
 
Sakura:<singing> ‘Till one day when this wuss met this coward, and they decided to unite their loser clans.
 
Tomoyo:<singing> With Genma trying to avoid his sword wielding wife.
 
Kero: And that’s how they all became The Tendo Bunch! 
 
Syaoran: The Tendo Family Sketch, thank you very much.
 
>Akane stepped into the dining-room and was surprised by Ryoga sitting
>at the table. 
 
Syaoran:<Ryoga> I actually made it.<sob> I’m so happy!
 
>He wore a dress shirt, tie, and (of course) a black
>speckled orange bandana around his head; his hair was wet and
>steaming, 
 
Kero: Not unlike this narrative, which is a steaming pile of…
 
Sakura: Kero…
 
>and he had a twisted roll of tissue stuck up one nostril.
 
Tomoyo: This scene brought to you by Kleenex.
 
>He smiled at her nervously as he crushed his mug of coffee in his bare
>hands.
 
Kero:<Ryoga> AUGHHHHH! HOT COFFEE IN LAP!! HOT COFFEE IN LAP!
 
>"Um, er, h-h-hello, Ak- A- S-s-sakura! Wha-"
 
Sakura: Who wrote Ryoga’s dialogue? Torgo?
 
Kero:<Ryoga> I tAkE CaRe oF tHe pLaCe WhIle tHe MasTEr iS aWaY.
 
>"What's with all the excitement!" someone hissed from offstage.
 
Syaoran:<Alex Trebek> You must answer in the form of a question.
 
Tomoyo:<dramatic> Someone’s been stealing the world’s question marks!
 
Sakura:<Kaitou St. Tail>They’ll never finish those fanfics without these question marks! The readers will be saved!
 
Kero: No such luck.
 
>"W-w-what's with all the e-excitement?" Ryoga stammered as he began
>eating the shattered fragments of his coffee mug.
 
Syaoran: Is it just me or does Ryoga spend a lot of time eating the dishes?
 
Sakura: It’s not you.
 
Kero:<Ryoga> Forget the soup, just bring me a bowl.
 
>"I'm not doin' anything," replied Akane.
 
Sakura: I see hanging around Ranma has rubbed off.
 
Tomoyo: Well, she has the dialect down.
 
Kero:<Akane> Aw, I ain’t doin’ nothin’, pop.
 
>"W-when you walk, it sounds like a stomping m-m-monster!"
 
Kero: Is Ryoga doing his Rain Man impression or something here?
 
Syaoran: Nah. He’s just in his Dr. Tofu-Around-Kasumi mode.
 
>"I'm not a monster!"
 
Sakura:<Akane> I’m a monster rancher!
 
Syaoran:<very sarcastic> Yeah. THERE’S a series we should revisit.
 
Tomoyo:<Holly> Should I check the magic stone?
 
Kero: There’s that voice again.
 
> This nasty guy is my older brother, Toya. 
 
Kero:<Touya a la Dr. Forrester> I’m a bad boy! I’m naughty! Naughty! Naughty!
 
Syaoran:<shudders> Stop that!
 
>(He's not nasty, but (stay in character, Aka- Sakura, stay in character. Right)) 
 
Sakura:<Akane> Yes. Yes. Yes. NO! NO! NO!
 
Kero: What’s with Akane? Did she develop a split personality or what?
 
>He goes to Northwest High School, right next to my school.
 
Sakura: The hell…? Did the fic just switch the setting to Reedington?
 
> I don't know if it's 'cause he's older, but I've never won a
> fight against him. 
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> He’s almost as bad as Ranma.
 
Sakura:<Akane> Every morning he beats me senseless with a mallet. But now *I* have the malletspace 
powers! Bwa-HA-HA!
 
>Ah..... It drives me nuts, he's taller....
 
Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> Well, duh!
 
Sakura:<Akane> He’s TALLER!!! I hate him so much for that!!
 
> I get bitter thinking about it.
 
Kero:<Akane> But then I started slipping arsenic in his tea and I started to feel better.
 
> Someday I'll be as big and tall as a telephone pole and I'll
> smash him! 
 
Sakura:<Akane> Then I decided to just rip a telephone pole out of the ground and beat him with it.
 
>(If it was Ranma, I'd- Stay in character, stay in
> character, stay in character...)
 
Kero: Akane is such a talented actress, eh?
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> Yeah. I’m an excellent driver.
 
>Soun stepped into the dining-room carrying a tray with bowls of miso
>soup and rice; he struggled to keep a smile on his face as his eyes
>shone with unshed tears.
 
Syaoran:<Soun><sniff> ‘Scuse me… I was just chopping onions.
 
>"Y-you are such loving siblings!" he said.
 
Sakura: Since when?
 
Syaoran: I suppose it would’ve been too much of a leap to get Nabiki to play Touya?
 
> That's my dad, Fujitaka. He's an archeology professor.
 
Kero: No. That’s your dad, Soun. He’s a sobbing wuss.
 
Tomoyo: She’d be better off if her dad was an archeology professor.
 
>'Fujitaka' kept smiling, his lips beginning to tremble.
 
Kero:<Soun> Now give us a kiss!
 
Sakura: Ick!
 
> He's sweet. Great at cooking-
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> He sobs like a little Tux Boy.
 
>Jets of tears gushed from his eyes as he began wailing.
 
Tomoyo: See?
 
Syaoran: Seems like Soun becomes more like Usagi Tsukino every day.
 
>"Wahhhhhhhh! Now our families will never be joined!"
 
Syaoran:<Soun> And I had the Krazy Glue ready and everything! WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
 
>*WHAM*
>
>Akane smashed him into the floor with a large wooden mallet.
 
Kero: Akane just isn’t much of an actress.
 
>"We're *supposed* to stay in character, Dad!"
 
Sakura: If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.
 
Syaoran: Hell, NO ONE has been in character since this idiot story began!
 
>Soun just twitched.
 
Kero:<Soun a la Kenshin> Orooooo…?
 
>"Why'd we have to take this job?" Ryoga muttered.
 
Kero: WHAM!
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> I said… STAY IN CHARACTER!!
 
>"Because *somebody* mismanaged Takahashi-sama's finances!"
 
Syaoran: There are just some duties an inker can’t do on their own, Rumiko.
 
>Nabiki, carrying a clipboard and a scene/take clacker thingy, stuck
>her head onto the stage.
 
Sakura: I believe it’s called a “clap board”.
 
Syaoran: Yeah. This is professional.
 
>"Hey, anybody can make a few mistakes!"
 
Kero: Nabiki being careless with money? Riiiiiiiiight.
 
> He's sweet (my dad, that it). Great at cooking as sewing. I
> love, er, "luv" him.
 
Syaoran: And to top it of we’re using the Mixx translation. WHERE DOES IT END?!
 
Sakura: Easy, Syaoran-kun. Stay frosty.
 
> What's that? My mom? She died when I was little. She died 
>when
 
Kero: …that bus ran her down.
 
Tomoyo: Anyone else get the feeling this narrative doesn’t fit at all with the story?
 
> I was 4... No, 5? 3! 
 
All: MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!
 
Kero:<Graham Chapman> Three, sir.
 
>She died when I was 3, so I don't 
>remember
> much about her.
>
> But I'm not lonely. I've got my dad.
 
Kero:<Soun> WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
 
Sakura:<Akane> Well, at least I have my brother and… Oh, just kill me already.
 
>"Oh, Saotome! How could we have come to this!"
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> SHUT… UP… DAD…
 
> I have my brother too, although he's annoying.
 
Sakura:<Akane> Well, at least he’s not gay. That would really be a shock.
 
Tomoyo: Sharp learning curve ahead.
 
>Ryoga continued to much away on his ceramic shards, muttering "She's
>my *sister*, for God's sake, my sister, my sister..."
 
Kero:<Ryoga> But, incest isn’t that bad, right?
 
Sakura:<shudders> Don’t even joke about that.
 
> And I have little K-chan. Oh, yeah, about him...
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> We’re having him for dinner tonight.
 
Kero:<Ryoga> N-NANI?!
 
>"Thanks for the chow," said Ryoga, who stood up and walked into a
>closet.
 
Syaoran:<snickers> Hello, symbolism.
 
Skaura: Syaoran-kun…
 
>"You're leaving already?" asked Akane, who began desperately gobbling
>up her food; didn't seem to be much point, though, as this was *Ryoga*
>she was supposed to be following to school.
 
Tomoyo: She should expect to get there in six to eight weeks.
 
>"Morning soccer practice," came Ryoga's muffled voice from the closet.
>"That is, if I can ever find the front door."
 
Sakura:<Akane> Get out of the closet, stupid!
 
Kero:<Ryoga> WHAT?! I am NOT gay!
 
>Seeing that Soun was still bawling, Kasumi dashed onto the stage,
>opened the closet door, gave Ryoga his lunch, and then scurried back
 
Syaoran: …and shoved Soun through a window.
 
>off stage; by some miracle, he managed to make it to the front door
>and out onto the street. Akane rushed to put on her rollerblades and
>skated out onto the street, 
 
Sakura: …falling flat on her face, because Akane doesn’t know the first thing about rollerblades.
 
>only to find it deserted; she looked
>behind her and saw Ryoga riding his bicycle in the wrong direction.
>
>"School's this way, Ry- Toya!"
 
Tomoyo: Oh, for… WE GET IT ALREADY!!
 
Kero: Didn’t they attend any rehearsals?
 
Syaoran: It’s performances like this that make me long for the great acting and nuances of “Manos: The Hands Of Fate”.
 
>He turned around with a sheepish grin and joined her on the trip to
>school.
 
Syaoran:<Ryoga> WHAA!<THUMP!> Stupid uneven sidewalk.
 
>"Um," Ryoga said, his face scrunched up in concentration. "Um..."
 
Kero:<Ryoga> Line?
 
Sakura:<Akane> Could you please not meditate on the way to school? 
 
>Akane whispered, "You know, you don't have to hurry so much."
 
Kero: Nope… Not going to say it…
 
Sakura: Good boy.
 
Syaoran: I think that’s the first time a character really DID forget their lines.
 
>"Y-you know, you don't have to hurry so much!" Ryoga said brightly,
>his voice much too loud.
 
All:<sigh>
 
Syaoran: Ryoga makes Tor Johnson look like Robert DeNiro in the acting department.
 
> (You don't have to hurry? That doesn't make any sense) But, 
>but
> you always go with [voice dripping with contempt] 'that guy'!
 
Tomoyo: Felicia has a brother?
 
Syaoran: PLEASE! NO OSCARFIC REFERENCES! 
 
>Up ahead we see a teenage boy wearing a Tomoeda High School uniform,
 
Kero: Oh, for… You said it was Northwest High earlier! CONTINUITY! 
 
>holding a book bag and... a wooden sword. 
 
Syaoran:<Yukito> Guess what, To-ya! I just joined Kaoru’s dojo to learn the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu!
 
>An epic war was fought on
>Akane's face as she utterly failed to look at 'Yuki' with any sort of
>adoration.
 
Sakura: And once again, the only traces of acting are coming from us.
 
>"At last, my fierce tigress!" Kuno called out, throwing his arms wide
>and flinging his book bag at some hapless passerby. "You have thrown
>of the shackles of the foul sorcerer and come running into my open
>arms!"
 
Syaoran: Sadly, the passerby turned out to be Kenshin who promptly chopped Kuno in half.
 
Kero: Guess he replaced that Sakaba sword of his.
 
Tomoyo:<Kaoru Kamiya> That’s what you get for stealing my bokken, you bastard!
 
<The intercom suddenly crackles to life>
 
Yue: I’m being played by WHO?!
 
All:<sweatdrop>
 
Sakura: At least Yue-san seems to have gotten away from the plushies.
 
>Ryoga gave Kuno a *hard* thwack on the back of the head.
 
All: YES!
 
>"Oww! What was that for, you wretch!"
 
Kero:<Ryoga> Kicks.
 
>"We're supposed to stay in character, 'Yuki'!"
 
Tomoyo: This fic will be lucky if there’s a single IC minute in this damn thing.
 
>"Phah! What are the monetary problems of my creator when compared to
>true love!"
 
Syaoran: Do the words “cease to exist” mean anything to you?
 
>"Look, you and me, errr, Toya and Yuki... are supposed to be... a
>couple."
 
<All fall over laughing>
 
Syaoran: Now THAT’S funny!
 
>Kuno blinked at him.
>
>"A couple of what?"
 
Sakura: Idiots.
 
>Ryoga leaned close to him and whispered something in his ear, causing
>Kuno to leap back and brandish his sword.
>
>"Thinks thou that the noble Kuno line would-"
 
Syaoran:<Kuno>…get drunk and dance around in our underwear on the lawn juggling pineapples? Oh, wait. Mine father hath already done that.
 
>"Look," Ryoga sighed, "I'm not any happier about this than you are."
>
>"What! Dost thou imply that the mighty Tatewaki Kuno is unworthy of
>the love of a man!"
 
Kero:<Ryoga> Is that a trick question?
 
>"Jeez! What the hell do you want-"
 
<All look around>
 
Sakura: Which of us said that?
 
>"Ohhhhh booooyyyssss," Nabiki sang out. "You *do* realize that
>there's tons of 'naughty tentacle' shops that are just *dying* to hire
>us, don't you?"
 
All: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Syaoran: Very… BAD… MENTAL IMAGE!!!
 
Tomoyo: It’s La Blue Kuno and Urutsukohibiki.
 
Kero: PLEASE!! NO!!
 
>Kuno's and Ryoga's eyes widened in horror for a moment, and then they
>turned to each other, smiles plastered on their faces, and clasped
>hands.
 
Sakura:<Kuno> Marry me, darling!
 
Syaoran: URK! <Falls over>
 
Sakura:<sweatdrops> Oops… Gomen nasai, Syaoran-kun.
 
>"Toya!"
>
>"Yuki!"
 
Syaoran: Miaka!
 
Sakura: Tamahome!
 
Tomoyo: Van!
 
Kero: Hitomi!
 
Syaoran: Kaoru!
 
Sakura: Kenshin!

Tomoyo: Chief!
 
Kero: McCloud!
 
>"Alright, alright," said Akane, "let's get going."
>
>Kuno straddled the bike behind Ryoga and Ryoga took off, with Akane
>following.
 
All:<sniggers>
 
Syaoran: New this fall! From the creators of “Simon and Simon", it’s the brand new action series, Ryoga and Ryoga!
 
>"It's *that* way to the high school, cretin! That way!"
>
>"Oops, sorry; hahaha!"
 
Syaoran:<Ryoga> …hahaha. Kill me.
 
> Yuki. My brother's classmate. I can't believe he's a friend
> to my uncouth brother. He's a sweet [choke] beautiful [gag]
> person!
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> Dammit… I shouldn’t eat and narrate.
 
>"I hear you've been oversleeping a lot, Sakura?" Kuno read from the
>script.
 
Syaoran:<Ryoga> HEY! Not while we’re on the bike, stupid! ARGHHHHHHHH!!<CRASH!>
 
>"Errr... Huh? Huh? Why do you say that?"
 
Sakura: It’s in the script stupid
 
>"He says you stay up late and can't get up in the morning. Is
>something worrying you?"
>
>With that Kuno tossed the script aside and waved his sword
>dramatically.
>
>"If so, fear not! For I, Tate-"
 
Kero: Pop Tate?
 
>"Not on the bike! Not on the bike!" yelled Ryoga as he desperately
>tried to keep the bike balanced.
 
Sakura: Isn’t Nabiki willing to do a second take on any of this?
 
Tomoyo: Nabiki Tendo, the Ed Wood of anime.
 
>"Um, we're here," said Akane.
>
>Kuno, noticing 'Tomoyo' standing in front of the elementary school,
>leapt from the bike and rushed towards her, arms held wide.
 
Kero: Only to be gunned down by Tomoyo’s bodyguards.
 
Tomoyo: That’s what we pay them for.
 
>"My pigtailed goddess! How I- mrmph"
>
>Ranma neatly stopped Kuno's charge with a fist in his face.
 
Tomoyo: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!! 
 
<The others quickly cover there ears>
 
Tomoyo: I—I’m being played by *HIM*?! He’s crude, he has lousy grammar and his sense of style SUCKS!!
 
>"I'm not wearing a pigtail; and you're supposed to stay in character,
>moron."
 
Sakura:<Ranma-Chan> Yeah, just like I am, stupid. Like, whatever.
 
>"My goddess, and Akane! I shall have you bo-"
 
Tomoyo:<Skuld> Stay AWAY from my sister!! <WHAM!!>
 
Syaoran: I didn’t even know Belldandy was here.
 
>Ryoga hit him on the head, steaming.
 
Kero: Still?
 
>"They're supposed to be 10 years old, you pervert!"
 
Syaoran: Tell that to Terada-sensai.
 
Sakura: Syaoran-kun…
 
Syaoran: What? It’s true.
 
>"But age makes no difference to true looooovvveeeee...."
>
>Kuno's voice Doppler-shifted as he went flying towards the high
>school, courtesy of one of Akane's kicks.
 
Kero: Oops… He landed in the pool, so she’ll be penalized a stroke.
 
>"Jeez, 'Sakura'," drawled Ranma, "that's some way to treat your 'true
>love'."
>
>"Shut up!"
 
Sakura:<Akane> Besides, Yukito isn’t REALLY my true love, he’s just a crush. Didn’t you read this series yet?
 
Kero: Speaking of which, I wonder who IS playing the brat.
 
<Syaoran swats him>
 
Syaoran: Personally, I don’t want to know.
 
>"Well, ah..." said Ryoga. "I guess I'll be going, then."
>
>He turned the bike around 90 degrees and rode it straight into a wall;
>Ranma whistled as she looked at the hole he left.
>
>"Man," she said, "he can be as deadly with one of those things as
>Shampoo."
 
Tomoyo:<Shampoo> Lost boy steal Shampoo gimmick? Shampoo KILL!
 
> This is 'Tomoyo', the girl who shot that video.
 
Syaoran: No. That’s Ranma. You’re eyesight is getting as bad as Mousse’s, Akane.
 
>"'morning, 'Tomoyo'," said Akane.
>
>"Good morning, 'Sakura'," Ranma replied.
 
Sakura:<Ranma> Morning, Misaki… Oops! Wrong series.
 
Tomoyo: Suddenly, Tamayo Kizaki clobbered Ranma and put her in a headlock.
 
>"Here, thanks" said Akane as she handed Ranma the video tape.
>
>"You, ah... (what's my line) Oh! You look beautiful in it... Ah,
>jeez! I can't stick this script; ain't like videotaping you is gonna
>make an uncute chick like you look beautiful."
 
<Tomoyo starts to glow and vibrate angrily>
 
Syaoran: This is not a good sign.
 
>Akane sent a kick at Ranma's head, which she easily dodged.
 
Kero: After which, she slammed her with a giant mallet.
 
Sakura:<Akane>TOMOYO NO BAKA!
 
Syaoran: And then the bodyguards shot Akane dead.
 
Kero: We haven’t felt this violent since “Stolen”.
 
>"So," said Ranma, "how'd we end up landing this job anyways? Where's
>the regular cast?"
>
>"The regular cast is..." Akane replied with a bit of nervousness.
 
Tomoyo:<Akane> …busy retching violently over our crappy performances.
 
>"They're on extended medical leave because of... work related stress,
>and... interpersonal relationships they have to work on, and
>other... psychological problems."
 
Sakura:<Ranma-Chan> They needed it shortly after they hear about this fanfic.
 
>********* Flash sideways *********
 
Kero: Cutey Honey or Dirty Pair?
 
Tomoyo: Eeeewww… Could someone get the exhibitionist OUT of the fanfic?
 
>We see a large room with ceiling, floor and walls colored institution
>green. Most of the CCS cast members are seated on a circle of chairs,
>along with a balding man wearing glasses and smoking a pipe; he is
>obviously the psychiatrist. There's a clatter, and we turn to Tomoyo,
>who's face is powdered white and lips and nails are painted black; her
>camcorder has just fallen from her nerveless fingers.
 
Sakura: Goth Tomoyo is back!
 
Syaoran: Does Silverlight know about this?
 
Kero: I wonder if she’s wearing black panties again.
 
Tomoyo: Wouldn’t you like to know. <winks>
 
>"See!" shouted Sakura, jabbing an accusatory finger at Tomoyo. 
 
Sakura: I accuse YOU, Tomoyo-chan!
 
>"See! She's *always* doing that! I didn't used to mind, but now... Now she
>even films me when I'm sleeping! Sleeping!! It's like I don't have
>any privacy left!"
 
Kero: Well, now that Diana’s gone, SOMEONE has to deal with it.
 
>Tomoyo's lips trembled a bit before she burst into tears. Behind her,
>Kero was pleading Spinel.
>
>"But Suppi-chan!" cried Kero. "I can't live without you!"
 
<Kero starts to glow and vibrate violently>
 
Kero: Excuuuuuse ME?!
 
>"Don't call me that!" snarled Spinel. "Besides, I have Ryo-oh-ki now,
>and she's *much* more feline than you can ever *hope* to be."
 
Kero:<Spinel Sun> We’re moving into a commune with Oscar and Artemis.
 
<The intercom crackles to life again>
 
Spinel Sun: TAKE THAT BACK!
 
Kero: Bite me, furball!
 
Syaoran:<sweatdrops> Is EVERYONE listening in on us?
 
>"Meow! Meow! Meow!" agreed Ryo-oh-ki.
 
Tomoyo:<Kero> Why, you miserable little carrot whore bitch!
 
Sakura and Kero: TOMOYO!!
 
>"Oh!" wailed Kero. "How can you be so cruel!"
 
Kero: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
 
<Suddenly, Kero’s body explodes in a bright flash of light showering the theater with small wrapped candies. He reappears with a loud POP!>
 
Kero: Whoa… Ooohhh… My head…
 
>As Kero fled from the snuggling felines, Toya was looking at Syaoran
>with grave concern.
>
>"Hey, little buddy. Hey! Snap out of it!"
 
All:<sniggers> 
 
Tomoyo: Good characterization there.
 
Kero: We’ve secretly replaced Touya with someone who doesn’t hate Syaoran’s guts for dating his sister. Let’s see if anyone notices.
 
>He grabbed the vacantly staring boy by the shoulders and gently shook
>him, but to no avail; he'd been like this ever since Eriol had spiked
>his punch with LSD and then tricked him into looking at the ILLUSION
>card.
 
Syaoran: Oh, lovely…
 
Tomoyo: First tea and now punch. Soon there won’t be a safe drink left in fanfics.
 
>"Cards..." muttered Syaoran. "Got... to catch... the cards. Got
>to... Gotta? Gotta... catch... 'em all? 
 
Sakura: No, no, no. It’s “Catch You, Catch Me”. You’ve got the wrong series.
 
>P-p-pika... Pika pika pika. WINDY, I choose you."
 
Syaoran:<fuming and clutching an ofuda> THUNDER! I choose you!
 
Sakura: Syaoran-kun! Don’t!
 
>Ignoring her catatonic "true love", Meilin slipped over to sit next to
>Fujitaka, resting her head on his chest with a blissful smile on her
>face. He gently wrapped an arm around her as he gazed at her
>lovingly.
 
<All stare blankly>
 
Sakura: On second thought…
 
>"Sakura," he said, "I'd like you to meet your new mother."
>
>"Hooooeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!"
 
Sakura: Wow! And I was afraid of telling him I was sleeping with Syaoran-kun since I hit the big one-six.
 
<Kero and Tomoyo stare at her.>

Sakura:<sweatdrops> It was just a riff, guys!

Tomoyo: Sure it is.
 
Syaoran:<blushing> No comment.
 
>********* Un-Flash sideways *********
>
>"Hmmmm," said Ranma. "Well, I hope they get back soon. I'm gonna
>kill whoever made these stupid school uniforms; they're *way* to
>small."
 
Tomoyo: Well, next time just pay extra and get them pre-shrunk, dummy.
 
Kero: Nabiki must’ve cut costs on the wardrobe.
 
>Akane silently prayed, prayers which were, astonishingly, answered:
 
Syaoran: …and the fic was over?
 
Sakura: No, dear. Those are OUR prayers.
 
>Ranma made made no insulting comments about how the tight school-girl
>uniforms looked better on her than on Akane. They entered their
>classroom to find that Ukyo was already there.
>
>"Hiya, 'Rika'," said Ranma.
 
<The intercom crackles again>
 
Rika: NANI?!
 
Sakura: Okay, this is getting weird.
 
>"Hello, 'Tomoyo', 'Sakura'," she replied, then leaned forward and
>lowered her voice. "You haven't seen, um, Happosai?" She she
>whispered the last word as if the mere mention of his name could
>summon the uber-lech.
 
Kero:<Happosai> Oooh… Tight uniforms! Sweet-o!
 
>"No," replied Akane, "he's not going to show up for a while."
>
>Both Ranma and Ukyo heaved sighs of relief.
>
>"He's going to be playing Eriol."
 
<All fall over laughing>
 
Syaoran: Now THAT’S justice!
 
<The intercom comes to life again>
 
Eriol: NAKURU! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THAT?!
 
Ruby Moon: You didn’t ask.
 
Tomoyo:<sweatdrop> I hope this isn’t going to keep happening in other experiments. 
 
>They both choked and gagged.
>
>"Jeez," said Ranma, "who did *that* bit of casting?"
 
Syaoran: Same moron who did the rest of it.
 
>"Also, Aka- Sakura, do you know who's gonna be playing Mr. Terada?
>The guy I'm supposed to have a crush on?"
 
Tomoyo: Ohhohohohohohoho! He’s more than that, dearie.
 
<The others sweatdrop.>
 
>"Well...." said Akane, sweating and shuffling her feet. "He's-"
>
>The classroom door slammed open and a man entered, wearing glasses, a
>white gi, and a white bandana over his head; "Homeroom is starting!"
>he called out.
>
>As he got to his desk, Genma lifted his head and gave Ukyo a nervous
>smile.
 
Kero:<Genma> Hey, baby! Wanna meet after class?
 
Tomoyo:<Ukyo> ARGHHHHH!! <CLANG!><CLANG!><CLANG!>
 
Sakura:<Akane> You know, Rika would never have smashed someone with a giant spatula.
 
Tomoyo:<Ukyo> Oh, thanks for telling me, oh Queen of IC.
 
<The intercom comes to life one last time>
 
Terada: What the--?!
 
Kero: Now this is getting nuts.
 
>"Kill me," Ukyo muttered, head slumped to her chest. "Kill me now."
 

Syaoran: We’d be happy to.

<Pause>

Sakura: Well, I guess that’s the end of the fic, guys.

Tomoyo: Not a moment to soon, either. I mean, what type of stupid gimmick was that?

Syaoran: Not everyone can be funny, I guess.

Kero: Yeah, well, this guy didn’t even try.

Tomoyo: Enough talk, let’s get out of here.

**

THE HOLOCABANA

“Do we really have to go through with this?” Syaoran muttered as he finished putting on his new “Chinese” attire.

“Yes,” Tomoyo called. “It’ll be our revenge!”

“More like our downfall,” Kero muttered. “I wonder if Yue needs any help reattaching those missing feathers.”

“Plushies were rougher than he thought, huh?” Syaoran replied.

“I hope Yue-san’s okay?” said a concerned Sakura.

Kero waved it off. “Please, you think a guardian can be beaten by a bunch of stuffed toys?”

“I don’t know,” said Syaoran. “Why don’t YOU fight him and find out?”

“Could we get started, please?” Tomoyo called out as she activated the Tendo dojo program. She quickly set up her camcorder and began to tape. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight CardCaptor Science Theater is proud to present: The CCS Cast Does Ranma ½!”

Syaoran, still somewhat skeptical, wander out onto the set dressed in Ranma’s usual Chinese clothes.

“Ranma!!” Sakura shouted, sounded as violent as she could, which wasn’t THAT violent. She strode onto the set dressed in Akane’s school uniform. “Where have you been?! You were with that tramp, Shampoo again, weren’t you?!”

Syaoran rolled his eyes and went along with his lines. “Awww, Akane, you’re jumpin’ to conclusions again. I ain’t done nothin’ with Shampoo… Oh, this is ridiculous. Who the hell talks like this?”

“Stay in character, Li-kun!” Tomoyo shouted.

“Yeah, yeah…”

Suddenly, one of the walls was smashed down and Meiling flung herself at Syaoran with a cheery cry of “Nihao!”

<GLOMP!>

“Aw… Get offa me, Shampoo…” Syaoran grumbled.

“Wo ai ni!” cooed Meiling as she snuggled up to him. “Airen take Shampoo on date.”

Sakura sweatdropped. “You’re WAY too good at that, Meiling.”

Suddenly, there came a chilling cry of “Sweet-o!” Kero flashed through, dressed as Happosai and little arms filled with panties. “I got me the mother load! Oohhh… How I love my silky darlings.”

The other three all sweatdropped.

“Should’ve known he’d be a natural at that role,” said Sakura. “What do you think, sirs?”

**

DEEP 13

“Lousy Cline…” Eriol growled. “Replace ME with Happosai!! I’ll have that little twerp’s head for this!!”

“Eriol,” said Spinel Sun, as he eyed his fuming about-to-explode master. “Remember what Kaho told you about watching your blood pressure. Just go out and blow up some stuff and you’ll feel better in know time.”

Eriol let out a sigh. “You’re right, Suppi. Ruby Moon! Pack my rocket launcher and about twenty pounds of C-4 in my car. I feel like doing some landscape remodeling.”

“Whatever you say, sir,” Ruby Moon replied dully. As she headed out she gave the button a smack.

THE REAL END

(Feel free to hum “Catch You, Catch Me” as the credits roll)

Well, another MSTing finished. I’m finally starting to catch up on some of my CCST3K backlog. I hope all of you out there in readerland are willing to forgive me for some of the huge delays in this series. I’ve been planning to MST this particular fic for some time and I was working on it for ages.

So, another one bites the dust. And here’s hoping that the Toronto Maple Leafs get their act together soon.

Until next time,

-CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

Season One:

1) The Brain From Planet Arous-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo

2) The Mike Rhea Anthology-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea

(Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss)

3) Neon Ranma Evangelion-A Ranma ½ /Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Khyron Kingkiller

4) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

5) Stolen-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

6) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

7) The True Power Of Love-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul

8)  Marco Polo-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

9) Madison’s Mystery Crush-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Chocolat*

10) Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

Season Two:

11) The Next Generation-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu

12) Caught In The Act-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny

13) The Shadow Leaders-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

14) Shinji’s Alter-Ego-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By John82

15) Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla-A Sailor Moon Fic By Flashman (Christian A. Rogers)

16) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

17) No Need For CardCaptors-A Tenchi Muyo/Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Christina Horton

18) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

19) Mother, May I [Take Over The World]-A Pokemon Fic By Mallet Boy

20) Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By Golden Eyed Dragon

Season Three: 

21) Harry Potter And the Pantie Raiders-A Harry Potter Fic By Ice Blue X

22) The Unforgettable Promise-A Love Hina Fic By KenshinRC

23) To Find My Dad And Have A Family-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By MoshiMoshiQueen

24) Revolutionary Girl Asuka-A Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Joyce K. Wakabayashi

25) A Dream Come True-A CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Crystalina Rhapsody Draco

26) The Only Constant-A Star Trek: The Next Generation Fic By Stephen Ratliff

27) The Lionel Dark Anthology-Card Captor Sakura(CardCaptors)/Lord Of The Rings Fics By Lionel Dark

(Signs That Say You’re Like Lionel Dark/ More Signs The You’re Like Elle/ The Scythe Carrier)

28) The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS-A Ranma ½ / CardCaptor Sakura By Matthew Cline

Deep Fried SPAM:

1) Why Not Make A Little Money While Surfing The Net

2) Now Offering For Your “Sensitive” Delight… New And Improved!

Specials:

-Christmas Special-Under The Mistletoe/Tsubasa Gets What He Deserves-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea 

-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 1-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama

-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 2-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama

Other MSTings:

Totally Spies Theater 3000:

Season One:

1) What If Meowth Was A Girl?-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker.

>"Oh!" wailed Kero. "How can you be so cruel!"

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations

are trademarks of and (c) 2002 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights

reserved.

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